Ants don’t do calculus: we’re too smart! We just want to solve useful problems.

Suppose something has a value of x at time t and a value of x + Δx a short time, Δt, later. Then at time t + 2Δt, it will have a value of x + x. Just find the latest increment and add it to your last value – simples! Eat your heart out Herr Leibnitz!

Integration – don’t make me laugh! Just Google the Trapezium rule.



Some “clever” human write things they call “equations”.

So to find out how hard you have to work to lift something they write

𝑃 = 𝑚𝑔ℎ/∆𝑡.

What’s the point? If I can’t lift something, helpers will arrive by following my pheromone trail until there’s enough of us to get the job done.


Humans used to work like this to build stuff called The Pyramids and Medieval Cathedrals. Then they lost the knack and started to waste time by thinking about a job instead of getting it done.




Humans have names: ants don’t. Sometimes people say to me, “What’s your name, little ant?” The answer is simple – I don’t have one.

Humans have names to distinguish one from another. Why bother? I follow pheromone trails and pick up crumbs just like everyone. There’s no need to distinguish me from anyone else.


A famous human believed he could prove his existence because he thought. So when he wasn’t thinking did he cease to exist? And what about when he was a baby and was incapable of thought? Was he the same René Descartes as he became later? If we’re not careful we’re going to start calling him the human who became known as René Descartes. Not a very snappy name! Walk away from that René!

Some people, called Buddhists, believe in losing the sense of self. Easy! Be like an ant – don’t start thinking like a human in the first place!